I was first introduced to homeschooling when my oldest son, Tomasi, was about a year old. My sister sent me a YouTube day-in-the-life video of a homeschooling family in Hawaii saying that she could see me doing this. My initial reaction was somewhere along the lines of "I mean... I guess it looks cool? But that's not really part of my plan." And I didn't think much more of it.
Until about two years later when the idea of homeschooling started to pop up in the back of my mind and wouldn't go away. I was officially intrigued. I started to do some research: I read a few books and blogs, I followed Instagram accounts, and joined the local Facebook group to get a glimpse into what homeschooling life looked like.
The more I learned, the more convinced I became that homeschooling was the right fit for Masi and our family for several reasons:
Tomasi is a very hands-on, tactile learner and I knew sitting down and doing worksheets wasn't going to be the best learning style for him.
Freedom. Freedom to take a personalized approach to learning. Freedom in our schedule- to wake up when we want, play outside or go to a museum or hiking on a weekday. And even to take a mental health day when necessary.
Customizeability. (Is that even a word? Lol) I love that I get to customize my kids' education to fit their needs and interests and incorporate our family values. We are learning about our own Samoan language/culture, do almost entirely hands-on learning activities, and prioritize free play (especially outside).
As a military family, homeschooling is actually one of the few consistent things in our lives, and the idea of my boys being the new kids every two to three years made me sad.
Around this time I had friends with older kids, and seeing some of their experiences was the final confirmation for me. I saw their boys with similar personalities to Masi struggle to shake the labels of "disruptive", "bad kid", "slow learner/ADHD" etc. And teachers who singled those boys out or refused to help them catch up in subjects they struggled with. I saw how easily that could be my own son. That he would struggle to learn via worksheets and sitting all day at a desk. That his personality with zero people pleasing tendencies would not make for great classroom behavior. He needed more freedom and flexibility-things that he simply wouldn't be able to get in a traditional school setting. And that's when I decided that I was all in with homeschooling.
[I want to make it clear that I think teachers are an absolutely vital part of our community. I went to public school and was positively impacted by some many amazing teachers. Most teachers truly care and are doing their best, but they are limited by the parameters of a system that isn't really designed to meet the needs of each individual student. I just didn't want that for my own kids.]
How To Get Started
Every few weeks, I get messages from friends who are interested in homeschooling but just don't know where to start. I LOVE to talk about homeschooling and could go on for days, so these messages always excite me. (Honestly, it would've been really reassuring to talk to someone with firsthand experience before I started, so always feel free to reach out to me. I am 100% willing to be that person for others.)
First, and most importantly, encouragement. The decision to homeschool is a big one and I fully acknowledge how stressful it can be. It goes against the mainstream- which can be scary enough on its own- and taking on full responsibility for your child's education is no small feat either. But you can do it! If you've been feeling the pull to homeschool, I believe in you. It's important to understand that you do not need to be an expert in all the school subjects. Trust that you know your children better than anyone and have their best interests at heart-and that's what is most important. Trust your intuition as their parent.
Next, know your state's laws. Each state has different laws about how to notify the government that you'll be homeschooling, administering standardized testing or evaluations, etc. So it's really important to understand your state laws. Just a quick google search is all you need.
Find your homeschooling philosophy/style. There is not only one right way to homeschool. Knowing which philosophies you align with best is still a good guide to finding a curriculum (if you decide to use one), how you structure your school day, and what becomes priority in your family. There's so many styles from classical education and Charlotte Mason to unschooling, nature schooling and more. It can all be a bit overwhelming, so this article below is a great place to start. But remember that all of these styles are meant to work for you, not the other way around. Don't try to force your family's lifestyle into exactly adhering to one style at the detriment of your family's natural flow and mental health. Simply take what works for you and leave the rest. Our family aligns most with an unschooling philosophy, while also incorporating many aspects of family style unit studies and nature schooling. This is what works best for both my own personality as well as the boys' learning styles. [Not affiliated, this article just does a great job of breaking styles down simply as a start to research. https://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/homeschooling-styles/]
Find local groups. Facebook is always my go-to in connecting with local community. Even when we lived in middle-of-nowhere Oklahoma, there were still two groups in our town, so I'm pretty confident that a homeschool community can be found almost anywhere. They're pretty easy to find by searching "[Name of Area] Homeschool" on Facebook. I always join as many groups as I can (most will still let you join even if you're only in the research phase) until I can get a better vibe for which groups are a good fit for us. These online groups are a great place to ask questions about curriculum or local laws, find other kids of similar ages/interests to build friendships with, share resources and information about cool outings, etc. Your public library and community center is also a good place to look since many host weekly storytimes, homeschool STEAM events, and other things. In both places we've been stationed since starting to homeschool, all of our homeschool friends were met via Facebook groups so don't overlook this part. It can be overwhelming to put yourself out there in potential friendships (even as an adult) but having at least a few people to share this experience with makes all the difference. It makes things feel a lot less lonely for both you and your kids.
Commit to just one year. I've talked to many moms who really want to homeschool, but fearfully ask, "What about high school?" when their child is still PreK age. A decision to try homeschooling doesn't mean you can't change your mind later. Instead, a smaller commitment of one trial year might feel for manageable. At the end of that year, you can reevaluate if this is something that works for your family. And you are under no obligation to continue if it doesn't. A trial year is especially low stakes if your child is elementary age because the material learned at this level can easily be caught up on. My point is that it doesn't hurt to try. Don't let fears and "what ifs" hold you back from trying.
If you need a sounding board to bounce ideas off of, I'm happy to be that person. If you've been feeling a pull to homeschool, gather your courage and just give it a shot. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to start even if you haven't done all the research or don't have all the answers yet. (In fact, even with all the knowledge in the world there is still guaranteed to be a period of trial and error as you figure out what works for your unique family.) Lean into all that; it's good for kids to see the adults in their lives modeling how to be brave enough to get outside their comfort zone, make mistakes, and learn along the way. Your homeschool doesn't need to look like public school- in schedule or content- if you don't want it to. You don't need my permission (or anyone else's), but in case you feel like you do... Here's permission to go against the norm; permission to follow your gut and the needs of your kids. I'm not an expert by any means, but I've learned a lot throughout my homeschooling journey the past few years and I'd love to share that knowledge with anyone else who needs it.